Image is Not enough

HELP ME BREAK A LEG!

I'm actually taking acting classes for the second time in my life. The first time I didn't get any encouragement to look for work in the field. Don't know if I'll get encouragement this time either, but its making my life interesting, challenging, and fun! The type of roles I would be looking for are TV commercials. (Maybe I could be an extra in a crowd scene). Seeing myself on a big TV screen is a little daunting - turkey neck and all. Is there really a future in acting for someone like me? I make a pretty good 'mother', 'aging diva' 'jaded housewife', etc. etc. etc. I remind myself of the role of Martha in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"

Well, it give this aging diva something to look forward to every week. I can hardly wait for the modeling class to begin!

Anyway, I love the classes and the other students and teacher. I especially liked doing improv. (Do we have another SNL candidate here???)

SOME THOUGHTS
I believe I have uncovered something very basic to myself. The tension that is always in my body is due to a deep self rejection, a powerful bias against my innermost self, which I believe is not good enough for me. I believe this is part of the narcissistic personality disorder. It may be why I focus on my outer appearance so much, because the inside is so unacceptable. My goal is to love myself inside as much as the outside.